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PookLaRoux's
Handfasting FAQ
Originally Posted on April 29, 1998
In process of Update, March 2002
This FAQ is offered as a resource to the greater Pagan/Magickal community. All information presented here is as accurate as possible and free of judgement. Interpret and use it as you will, an it harm none. Please give PookLaRoux credit if you use this information in printed or electronic form elsewhere. If you know of any information that would be useful to add to this page, e-mail me!
What is a Handfasting?
Handfasting is a rite in which the Old Gods bless and hallow a Union of two or more people. It is a sacred marriage. Some people have called it a "temporary" or "trial" marriage. It is not always a permanent union.
Is Handfasting legal?
If at least one Priestess or Priest officiating at the rite is legally registered, the rite can stand as a legal marriage. Most Handfastings, however, are not legally certified.
Many Pagan Priestesses and Priests obtain legal certification through the Universal Life Church in Modesto, CA. In most states in the US, to obtain legal registration you are required to file documents proving your religious certification with a state level office (in Ohio that's the Office of the State Attorney General…), and usually also with a county and/ or city level authority in the vicinity of where the rite is to take place. Each of these governmental authorities can give you information about documents needed to file to officiate legal weddings.
Couples wishing to make their Handfasting rite legal need to follow their local guidelines to obtain a valid marriage license. A legally registered Priestess or Priest can sign and process the license. The Handfasting so conducted will be considered as legally binding as any other kind of secular or religious marriage ceremony.
"Thanks for putting up your handfasting page; I've found it quite useful in helping to plan ours. One little nit: minister's licenses are now issued by the Ohio Secretary of State's office, not the State Attorney General. (I just got mine in April.)
--Susan Davis (sue@secant.com)"
Thanks Sue!
If Handfasting isn't always a lifelong commitment, how long does it last?
The participants decide beforehand how long they will agree to be committed. The traditional commitment is "a year and a day", but other popular vows include "so long as love shall last" and also "for all lifetimes."
(BTW -- if your commitment was for 'as long as love shall last' and you got a marriage license and did the legal thing, you will still need a divorce to legally dissolve your marriage.)
What happens when the time of commitment ends?
Some people renew the vow every year. Other couples simply part and go separate ways in life. Still others have a ritual to mark the ending of the Handfasting commitment. It has also become popular to follow a Handfasting a year and a day later with a legal wedding.
What kinds of special ritual actions are performed at the Handfasting rite?
Some couples opt to jump over a broom, balefire, sword or cord. Frequently, the couples are symbolically tied together. Couples may drink out of the same cup to indicate the joining of their lives and destinies. Rings are often exchanged. Most of the traditional symbols and customs we associate with traditional weddings (cake, wine and toasts, having rice or grain tossed over the bride and groom, ivy in the bridal bouquet, the 'unity candle', the veil, the garter, etc) were pagan rites originally. Many of these rites, such as rice-throwing, started out as fertility charms, so keep this in mind when you are planning your magickal rite. The long white lacy dress is a remnant from the Edwardian era, when white wedding dresses first came into use. Until then, the bride, groom and all the guests just wore their best clothes, adorned with flower corsages and bouquets.
What are examples of actual Handfasting Rites or other published resources?
Not in any particular order, stuff from my bookshelves. When possible, I have included a link so that you can buy the book online from Barnes and Noble. Unfortunately, many of the books on my shelves are now out of print. Barnes and Noble has a very good Out-of-Print search, and the prices seem very reasonable.
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
The Occult Experience (a film, found lately at a Blockbuster Video store) Section on a Handfasting Rite in an Australian Coven
Janet and Stewart Farrar Witches Bible: The Complete Witches' Handbook
Chapter XIII Handfasting, p 160
Ed Fitch Grimoire of Shadows: Witchcraft, Paganism & Magick
Part IV Rituals of Passage, p 95 "The Rite of Handfasting"
Rhiannon Ryall "West Country Wicca"
p 29 "Rite of Handfasting"
(Possibly Out of Print))
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Kvedulf Gundarsson "Teutonic Religion; Folk Beliefs of the Northern
Tradition"
Chapter 16, p 236 "Wedding"
(Possibly Out of Print)
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Patricia Telesco "Folkways"
Chapter 25 "Relationships"
(Possibly Out of Print)
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Herman Slater Book of Pagan Rituals
p 43 "Marriage Rite"
Ed Fitch "Magickal Rites from the Crystal Well"
"Rites of Passage" chapter, p 131 "Handfasting Rite"
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Raymond Buckland Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft
Lesson 8, p 97 "Handfasting Rite"
Mary Kay Simms "The Witch's Circle"
Chapter 10 "Special Rituals"
p 313 "Handfasting", p 322 "A Wedding Ritual"
(Possibly Out of Print)
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Chas S. Clifton "Witchcraft Today, Book Two; Modern Rites of
Passage"
"Marriage and the Modern Pagan" p 165 by Jeff
Charboneau-Harrison
(Possibly Out of Print)
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Doreen Valiente and Evan John Jones "Witchcraft; A Tradition
Renewed"
p 188 "The Rite of Handfasting"
(Possibly Out of Print))
barnesandnoble.com Out-of-Print Search Page
Handfasting Ritual - 1995 - Akathia http://www.mindspring.com/~stardancer/handfast.txt --
Handfasting Ritual
a Handfasting Rite http://www.witchery.com/handfst1.html
Handfasting "Full Ceremonial Form" a ritual http://www.nettaxi.com/citizens/LionHart/spell6.htm
The Handfasting http://www.iinet.net.au/~phalcon/handfasting.html
When should a Handfasting take place?
Season/Month
Although Beltane is becoming a popular time to hold Handfasting rites, May has traditionally been considered an unlucky month in which to wed, since that is the Gods' sacred marriage month. (It seems kind of like upstaging the Goddess on Her wedding day…) This custom predates the Christianization of Pagan rites. It explains why June is such a popular month for weddings. I suggest you wait until the waxing moon in June. Samhain is also becoming a popular time for Handfasting Rites.
Day/Hour
The best day and time of the week to perform a Handfasting rite is either Monday or Friday at the first hour after sunrise or the first hour after sunset (but do cross reference this with the placement of the Moon and other astrological factors.) The worst days are Tuesday and Saturday, any time. If you can't make a Monday or Friday wedding, then at least try to perform the rite during the Magickal hour of Venus or the Moon. If you don't know how to figure out the hour of the Moon or the hour of Venus, Estelle Daniels does a great job of explaining magickal hours in her book "Astrologickal Magick" page 88 "Planetary Hours".
Astrology (Ignore this at your Peril!)
The best astrological time to perform the Handfasting rite is when the Moon is waxing to Full, well-disposed (that is: no hard angles to any signs, no angles to Mars or Saturn at all, and not Void-Of-Course) and in one of the Fixed signs. For more astrological hints, check out March & McEvers' book "The Only Way to Learn About Horary and Electional Astrology Volume VI" page 139.
General Wedding/Handfasting Resources:
How to Have the Wedding You Want by Danielle Claro. This is the best wedding planning book ever. This book will help you with every aspect of any wedding that is even slightly unusual. Whether you want an all-out Renaissance extravaganza or an elegant, private quasi-Handfasting, this book will help you. I can't recommend any wedding planning book more highly.
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